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Choose You

Last year I spent more time alone. Why? Because I needed it. I needed to get back to Putting God First, stop caring about others' opinions of me (check out 10 Things I Learned Last Year), and for once focus on healthy growth. I started choosing me. I learned more about life, love, and worth last year. I could hear God's voice more and clear amid silence. I have learned it’s easy to just allow life to happen.

“Life is about more than it just happening,

it’s truly loving and enjoying it.”

For me, it’s working towards my God-given purpose, understanding my worth, and choosing me. Over the years I have thrown myself into work, projects, church, service, and relationships. This isn’t all bad yet, I decided to make some life changes. Oh, boy! I experienced life changes: major loss with my grandmother passing, I received a promotion at work that required more of my time, and if that wasn’t a lot I was “finding my fit,” with a new church home. Whew! I was pushed outside of my comfort zone a WHOLE lot last year.

What I learned as a result of this is that I started to CHOOSE ME:

Relationships: Relationships change whether they are friendships, family, or dating all things change over time. There is an analogy that compares relationships to a tree. A tree has roots, a trunk, branches, limbs, and leaves. These relationships depending on where you are in life some are more rooted, others are stable yet, can change over time. Then others are like a branch and break. Breaking isn’t a bad thing, it could be that you are on a different journey and those relationship dynamics have changed. Or that a person was in your life for that season. What I have learned is it’s okay for changed relationships and you can still love someone from afar yet, it doesn’t mean that they have to be apart of your life.

• How does this relate to choosing you? Well if you are a giver like myself then you have to learn to choose you in all relationships. Relationships should not be hard and I recently read this:

"It’s perfectly normal to CHOOSE YOU and it’s not selfish."

Work, Work, Work:

I remember when I would do the MOST and EXTRA for work. Over the years, I’ve been able to learn that doing the MOST and EXTRA isn’t always needed. Don’t get me wrong I have always been and will continue to be a hard worker. Yet, learning my worth and what I bring to the table was pivotal. In the past, I would allow work and work-related activities to keep me from living and enjoying my life. I would take work home with me and I would be frustrated about it. Once I understood my worth, my value, my skills, and most importantly learn that God has SOOO many prosperous things for me.

• Work no longer comes before anything especially my well being, spending quality time doing the things I love, or having quiet time.

• I am reminded that work will be there and I can be replaced. That though I use to get frustrated about work and the politics that come along with it. My well-being is SO MUCH MORE important, what I love is important, and my god-given purpose is important.

• So I would encourage you if you are in a place where you don’t feel appreciated, frustrated, or need a change. CHOOSE YOU, seek God First, pray, use wisdom, update your resume, continue to be the best version of you and while you are doing it make sure you use those vacation and sick days. Take a mental day, sometimes it’s needed and it doesn’t have to be a planned extravagant trip. This could be a staycation at home to ensure you are mentally, spiritually, and physically working on being a better you!

I pray that you take a step back and choose you.

"Embrace God, Love You, & Choose You!"

- Shishandra D.



Shishandra Devlin is the writer, poet, fashionista, and creative mind behind this avenue.  She loves to create budget friendly fits through shopping, sewing,  or thrifiting that are thought provokingly cute, yet economically savvy. 

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