"Well can he trust me?"
I've had relationships where God was not involved in any way. Yet, I took out time December 2015 through 2016 and purposely stepped back from anything that was not glorifying God. In the midst of my waiting and handing over my dating life to God. God spoke to me and ask "Can I trust you with him?"
I thought to myself "Ummm....." You see I couldn't answer the question,
I had to stop and really think about it. "Well can he trust me?"
As a result of that interaction with him. I began to ask myself these 4 questions:
1. What baggage am I still holding onto from past relationships?
That baggage can consist of unresolved trust issues, feelings, past experiences, and hurt. For example, I can reflect back on what drove me to really get my relationship right with God. It was 2009, my boyfriend had just broken up with me because I found out he was cheating. I was SOOOOOO consumed with who I thought I was GORGEOUS and he broke up with me!! All of that was shielded by insecurities and a need to control the relationship.
After the breakup, I knew that I needed something else to put my faith in besides what I thought was love. Yet, even after I surrendered my life to Christ I carried around resentment. Resentment that I was missing out on who I thought was my soulmate. Resentment that I wasn't where I needed to be in life.
2. Do I really understand love?
Seriously, love! Love is the most misused word in today's time! I may say I love shoes and shopping!! Yet, I am misusing that word. I really like heels and shopping yet, I can go without it.
Love. The love that God shows us is unconditional, sacrificial, and unchanging. That's true love and we cannot live without God's love. I can live without shopping and shoes. Yet, God's unwavering love is what brings me joy, light, and gives me the ability to love others.
"We love each other because he loved us first." 1 John 4:19 (NLT)
I had to ask myself "Do I really understand LOVE?" Am I misusing, abusing, or using this word carelessly to make others "think I care?"
3. Will God be glorified in my relationship?
Hmmm.... I really had to think about this question as I stated before, God was not involved in my relationships. I wasn't consulting him, I would pray to him, yet he wasn't glorified.
When I think about God being glorified in a relationship I believe that he should be at the center. The relationship should include him, prayer, and sharing the word. Also, that same love that God shows me, I should share it with my pursuer.
Most importantly, I am glorifying him with my body, that means abstaining from anything sinful or lustful.
4. Can God trust me with her or him?
If God was to send me the man I wrote and prayed to him about many times "Could he trust me with him?"
I asked myself this question during a ten month time period. Reflecting back on the question now I should have said "No."
Are you wondering why?
Well, at that time I was still thinking about myself. I wasn't thinking about if the guy I was dating was a Christian. I would say that was what I wanted yet, my words didn't align with my actions. I was more consumed with how I felt and what I wanted. "I" agenda and not God's agenda.
I still had issues with sin and a snappy attitude. It was easy for me to use my words as a weapon if someone did/said something I did not like. I was sensitive at times and wanted others to jump through hoops for me and I wouldn't do the same. If things didn't go my way in the relationship or with dating I would pull back or bow out.
I'm sharing all of this because I truly believe God created a woman to be a Queen and the man a King. Yet, in my past, I wanted to be treated like a princess and the guys were my ugly frogs. I wasn't right and in God's word women were created to be a help (Genesis 2:18); not a brat, not nagging, not manipulative or selfish.
In short, God was not a part of my relationships and he was still dealing with me.
Fast forward and my answer would not be a complete "Yes" today. God is still working on me and every day I am growing with him. I have some minor trust issues that he is helping me to resolve.
If you are reading this let me just say,
"There isn't anything wrong with being God's work in progress."
I know I will never be a perfect person yet, I strive to be a better version of myself daily.
If you are single, waiting, dating, or courting. Ask yourself those 4 questions. Write down your responses and align them with what the word, biblical truth says about love, waiting, and relationships.
But most importantly ask yourself "Can God trust me with her or him(?"
"Embrace God, Love You, & Be Fashioned For Hem!"