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Are You Happy With Yourself?| Self Love Series

Self Love Series: This series is to remind each of us that we have to LOVE, appreciate, and be happy with ourselves before we can genuinely give it to others.

June was my month of NO COMPLAINING! It was easier said than done. Seriously, this meant I had to disconnect myself from certain people, I didn't talk on the phone as much, and stayed away from social media. This pushed me to read and, I journaled throughout the process. When a negative thought popped up, I made myself listen to inspirational music, read the word, or watch a YouTube sermon. I became really focused and intentional about not complaining.

Having this much alone time made me look at my life. "Are you happy with yourself, Shishandra?" Well, the answer was "Life isn't going the way I planned, I don't know." I don't like that I procrastinate and take weeks to complete my own projects. I don't like that sometimes I am late, seriously fashionably late. I don't like...... Yeah, I had to stop myself.

I could list all the things I see wrong with me. But I had to think of everything about me, that made me happy!

What made me get up every day and be ME. From the littlest to the biggest thing about me that I love. I am happy with the person I see in the mirror (littlest). I am happy with the steps I took this year to overcome the abuse I experienced as a child and learning to forgive others (biggest). Then, I came to this conclusion, I am happy with me because I am not perfect. Yes, I procrastinate yet, when I have a task to do that I really want to complete. I rock it.

I thought about my tardiness, I can do better in that area. So I created a spreadsheet and started tracking my time, I am holding my own self-accountable.

Does that mean I am not happy with myself?

No, it's self-improvement and seeing that I can do better. It's acknowledging my weaknesses and working towards being a better version of myself daily. This is not going to happen overnight. If you are striving to become a better you just know that it takes time and intentional effort.

Below are 5 steps I took to remind myself of how happy I am. Some steps are allowing me to become a happier me. You may want to try them:

1. Made a list of all the things I LOVE about me. Yes, it was actually fun to remind myself of the beautiful aspects I love about me.

2. Purge: Knowing that materialistic things or people can't create my happiness.

I cleaned out my closet, I have so many clothes and shoes. But only 2 feet and one

body. I shop when I am frustrated or upset, it makes me feel happy to have something

new. Yet, sometimes even I have had to step back from friendships that

are not beneficial or toxic. Creating my own happiness and being happy with myself, it

will reflect in the relationships I have with others. I'll interact and treat others better.

3. I stepped outside of my norm. I normally attend social gatherings with a friend. Yet, I started attending events such

as fashion shows, entrepreneurship events, and other networking opportunities alone.

This pushes me out of my comfort zone and I meet a lot of different people. I do a lot of

things alone but being in a place with people I don't talk to on a daily basis (strangers)

makes me uncomfortable.

4. Read and journal. I am a believer and reading the Bible is a must. It constantly reminds me of the

love that God and Jesus have for me. It's very encouraging, motivational, and

inspiring. Also, I read inspirational books and I journal. It helps with me getting my

feelings out. 5. Daily reminders of how blessed I truly am. The simple blessings of life that sometimes I may overlook or may take for granted. I

see this also as daily affirmations. I wake up every morning and I remind myself of the

blessings such as I have life. That is a great blessing, even if life isn't going the way I

want it. I am alive.

I've learned that you have to strive and be happy with you!! Once you are happy with yourself it will not only benefit you but others.

"Embrace God, Love You, & Be Fashioned For Hem!"

Shishandra D.


Shishandra Devlin is the writer, poet, fashionista, and creative mind behind this avenue.  She loves to create budget friendly fits through shopping, sewing,  or thrifiting that are thought provokingly cute, yet economically savvy. 

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