Dressing up Hurt
Hello my beautiful family and friends! I pray you all are having a blessed and amazing day! I am going to share with you all my first ever blog from my original site Fashioned For Him. I stopped blogging after a month of the original site.
Yet, I still had a yearning to write and with a new found love of sewing in 2014, I returned to my first love. Writing. So I am sharing with you today a part of the vision God put on my heart this was my first ever blog post on January 05, 2014.
Dressing Up Hurt
Have you ever worn something and thought you looked AMAZING and no one could tell you differently?
Well I have, I wore this dress for a very special occasion, my graduation celebration. The dress was gorgeous to me at the time. It fit my body to a “T”, I mean it hugged all the right curves and made me feel Fine with a capital “F,” also, sexy.
Graduating from college was such a huge accomplishment and milestone for me. I wanted to go all out and I purchased new everything from shoes, accessories, and of course, this beautiful, sexy, and gorgeous dress. I knew the dress was SEXY when I tried it on. Yet, in my mind I didn't really care, it was my day and my time to shine.
I wasn't thinking about anyone but me, not even God. I knew at the time that my close family members, fellow church members, and friends would be attending my graduation celebration. I was consumed with myself, my looks, and my flesh to the point I already knew how I would react if someone said something to me.
The day of my graduation celebration did not go like I planned. The graduation ceremony was long and my battery for my phone died during the ceremony. My family couldn't contact me and ended up getting lost in Tallahassee, (which threw off my schedule) and I still had to pick up last minute items for the celebration. Needless to say, I was an hour late to my own graduation celebration. Yet, none of that disorder mattered because I was going to look gorgeous in this dress and my accomplishment of graduating outweighed it all.
Yes, graduating was such a huge accomplishment, yet I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy with my celebration and I felt uncomfortable. The celebration itself was a heartfelt event and was such a beautiful occasion. But I wasn't happy with the celebration of me, my looks, and oh that dress. I pulled and tugged on the dress. And oh yes a couple of my friends commented on it and I responded feisty.
In particular, one of my Brothers in Christ (B.I.C) said to me “Girl, you look so fine in that dress, the thoughts that I am having.” I smiled and laughed it off but it made me feel uncomfortable. Not only did I feel insecure in my own skin but it made me think “What I’m wearing is not glorifying the God I claim to love.” My look glorified me, “Sexy Me!” I couldn't be mad at him because he made a comment that I felt was inappropriate, but I was mad at me.
What was my life displaying?
I was walking around with SEXY written across my body and this dress left little to the imagination but I thought I was “Fine.” I was causing my B.I.C to look at me in a totally different light and at that moment I felt CONVICTED. For not putting God in any of my plans for the day of my graduation, which was such a huge day. Instead I listened to my flesh and followed my own ways.
Ephesians 5:18 says:
“Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.”
As a child of God I was not acknowledging God whole heartily with any aspect of my life at that time. I didn't care what he may have wanted for me, because I did not even have him in my thoughts. I was defensive and on a road to self destruction because of my consumption with myself, flesh, my relationship with my ex-boyfriend, and materialism.
Have you ever been in that place?
Even though I knew that God had a promised for me just as he has one for everyone. I needed to be Fashioned For Him, that when people look, glance, or even stared at me, I’m invisible and they see his glory; him, the Christ that I love so dearly and seek after. I realized in those moments of me feeling convicted that my standards of my dress, attitude, demeanor, and life were based upon my emotions.
They were all emotional responses to the way others reacted, how I felt at the time, and were based upon my standards. Now, I've since learned that God’s standards and the standards set within the bible are definite. They always stay the same no matter how I may change and during my graduation celebration I did not want to be measured by anyone’s standards but my own. The bible says:
"The very essence of your words is truth; all your just regulations will stand forever.” Psalm 119:160
My standards were wrong and God’s standards are always right. They are just as he is constantly the same and his word is too. I’m learning as I become more selfless that my attractiveness, possessions, outer skin does not define me. But my purpose, my walk, believing in him and being able to share him, loud and clear does.
"You must be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy." Leviticus 19:2
Setting a standard is about being who God has called you to be. We all can be stylish and set a trend, but we have to set a standard. A standard that is not conforming to the world, that is filled with holiness, godliness, and doing what’s right. A standard that is not based on an emotional response or our flesh. Being Fashioned is more than just a style of dress. It consist of your internal process, manners, beliefs, and displaying a standard of his glory.
Ask yourself am I Fashioned For Him?
No longer dressing up hurt!! Loving Me and Fashioned For Him!